Hello my faithful readers. It's been years since I posted on this blog. I've been inspired to reawaken it, to begin again and start sharing what I discover in my contemplation...
Here is a prayer I composed after receiving absolution in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Graces were running through me fast and furious as I knelt at the altar rail.
O God,
I surrender myself to You.
I lay all my weaknesses at Your Feet. Eliminate them.
Let me never be led by the flesh, but by Your Spirit living within me.
I embrace the designs You have had on me since You knit me in my mother's womb.
Never let me be separated from You!
Exhume my talents. Raise them up for Your greater glory.
Let me begin again the journey I abandoned long ago.
I'm ready to start anew.
Make me the person You created me to be.
Take me through that narrow gate that leads me home.
August 9, 1945 at 11:02 a.m. Japanese time... "fat man" was released from a large aircraft flying over Nagasaki. The bomb fell right on top of Urakami's Catholic Cathedral ...dedicated to the Mother of God...
This is a significant point to make, because the parishioners had offered up their lives to end the war in Japan. As a result of the dropping of this A-bomb, the Japanese military surrendered on August 15th, the feast of the Assumption. I believe God accepted the offering of the parishioners, and His Holy Mother had a hand in interceding for their country. Today, the Catholic community in Japan is a minority, but very strong.
I've heard all the sides of the debate on the morality of such an act as this. I know how brutal the Japanese military were to their enemies. I know that there is much speculation on how millions more were expected to die if the Allies invaded the island. But somehow, in the deep recesses of our consciences...how can we ever justify unleashing such a monstrous weapon on humanity? I've only come to grips with this act after hearing of these Japanese Catholics who prayed unceasingly for an end to this terrible war. Their offering was made in courage and trust---an offering of great love --- love for their country, their heritage, and their people. They offered up their lives willingly in the hope of a future without war. Their love was more powerful than any megaton bomb could ever be.
"I realize the tragic significance of the atomic bomb... It is an awful responsibility which has come to us... We thank God that it has come to us, instead of to our enemies; and we pray that He may guide us to use it in His ways and for His purposes."
I'm watching Shark Week videos, one after another ...not a very good thing to do, seeing that I'll be making a visit to the ocean very soon.
On one episode, they interview a scientist who had been working with sharks for 20 years ... a big know-it-all-expert ... he was probably the only human being to get as close to sharks deliberately, in order to study them. In all his years of research and speaking on behalf of sharks ("they don't want to hurt humans ...they think humans are seals; fish, etc,) he forgot to respect them. There he was, standing a mere 3 ft from shore alongside a gutsy journalist, doing an interview in the midst of roving bull sharks. He was telling the daring reporter how "safe" sharks really are, and here was the proof. In that instant, a bull shark nips him in the shin, taking his calf muscle totally off. You can tell that throughout this documentary, the guy seems a bit embarrassed.... but I would say he was humiliated by that shark. All his years of research and his understanding of sharks was just another "theory" to be accepted as "fact." I mean, how dare we ever accuse the sharks of wanting to eat humans ...that would make them out to be ...well... wild animals who eat people! I could never understand this overblown sentiment, that admitting that sharks are man-hunting-man-eaters for fear of demonizing them ...so don't you dare say any such thing about them! Yet, it seems the majority of scientists don't have much of a problem demonizing the human population: we're the ones who are hurting the poor sharks, we're the ones encroaching on their environment, we're the ones to blame if one decides to have us as a snack... shame on the humans!
I'm not a scientist with years of research or expertise on sharks. But after watching just a few hours of this documentary, I've come to the conclusive facts that: Sharks hunt people. Sharks will attack a human because the shark wants to eat the human. The shark didn't "think" the human was a duck. It didn't "think" the human was a seal, a bird, a fish. As is evident in the film footage... the bull shark saw the man standing in the water, and decided to take a bite. The man wasn't even moving. Sharks like to taste and eat people. On the food chain, if you're swimming in the ocean, watch out, because "human-being" is not on top of the food pyramid! Case closed.
...your little son is a grown man today and has children of his own... you would have loved your grandchildren... you would have been one awesome grandpa!
You left us way too soon... sometimes I wonder how life would have been with you than without you...
Father, for the sake of Your Son's sorrowful passion, have mercy on Johnny...
Today I was caught by a dose of reality. My sister celebrated her birthday. I was thinking of how fast life has been going for all of us.
When we were children, time seemed to hold still. It took us forever to grow up. I remember how long the school years were, and compared to today's schedule, it was not long at all. Our summers were also celebrated with all the zeal of childhood!!! Such excitement to be off 3 months!! Today, 3 months goes by like a weekend ...
So, I guess today, I was being a little nostalgic... thinking back to the birthdays of our youth.... our family was still together... Johnny was there, Mom was there... today, they live in our hearts and our memories...
I arrived at my sister's house a little late this evening. Office hours go beyond 8 hours, and I needed to pick up my iMac from the shoppe. I parked on the side of her house, and walked the acreage to her front door. I walked in, and was a little dazed after thinking about everything that's been going on in our family, all the tragedies we've faced, and how we're still here surviving every minute of the rest of our lives together. I'm so thankful to Jesus Christ that we are all together in this area, not far from one another, because as much as my family can really really try me at times, I know I could not go on without having them so close...
After the meal and the cake and the gifts, we sat down to enjoy conversation, drink, games, etc. I was looking through youtube, and an old song came up on my "favorites." It was a song by a-ha, one of my favorite groups. The song was "Take On Me," the break-out, sensational sync-pop song that made the band an international hit. My sibs and my nephs and nieces all know that song. But as I kept playing their other not-so-well-known-in-America songs, my family commented on how they didn't realize the band continued to make hit albums after another, beyond the attention they gave to them. I've followed them throughout their career, and after returning from the convent, I used the internet to catch up on what I had missed. The band celebrated 25 long years together and finally retired in 2010. I thought about that... a band that was so young and filled with promise back in the days of my high school years, was now in their 40's and calling it quits. Man, that's when it really hit me how old I am getting!
We went from talking about their first hit to their very very last song. I find it haunting and beautiful, touching on all my emotions I felt throughout this day:
The band uses the butterfly to symbolize their band's career... spawning from coccoons to flittering all over the earth until they seperate at the end... These particular lyrics strike me: "Overthinking every little thing, Acknowledge the bell you cant unring...These stained glass wings could only take you so far...Stay with it through thick or thin..."
My dad wasn't feeling so well, so I left the party early to tend to him. I walked out my sisters front door onto her deck...and watched the setting sun streaming over the landscape, almost begging the earth not to force it to sleep...its rays hitting me and the side of the house... the light reminding me of those childhood evenings when me and my sibs would play around our little house running outside or riding our bicycles all over the place...
My dad huffed and puffed his way to my car, I clamored to get into the driver's seat to get him home as quick as possible...
...My time is not done, this little butterfly has to stay with it through thick and thin...
