...your little son is a grown man today and has children of his own... you would have loved your grandchildren... you would have been one awesome grandpa!
You left us way too soon... sometimes I wonder how life would have been with you than without you...
Father, for the sake of Your Son's sorrowful passion, have mercy on Johnny...
Today I was caught by a dose of reality. My sister celebrated her birthday. I was thinking of how fast life has been going for all of us.
When we were children, time seemed to hold still. It took us forever to grow up. I remember how long the school years were, and compared to today's schedule, it was not long at all. Our summers were also celebrated with all the zeal of childhood!!! Such excitement to be off 3 months!! Today, 3 months goes by like a weekend ...
So, I guess today, I was being a little nostalgic... thinking back to the birthdays of our youth.... our family was still together... Johnny was there, Mom was there... today, they live in our hearts and our memories...
I arrived at my sister's house a little late this evening. Office hours go beyond 8 hours, and I needed to pick up my iMac from the shoppe. I parked on the side of her house, and walked the acreage to her front door. I walked in, and was a little dazed after thinking about everything that's been going on in our family, all the tragedies we've faced, and how we're still here surviving every minute of the rest of our lives together. I'm so thankful to Jesus Christ that we are all together in this area, not far from one another, because as much as my family can really really try me at times, I know I could not go on without having them so close...
After the meal and the cake and the gifts, we sat down to enjoy conversation, drink, games, etc. I was looking through youtube, and an old song came up on my "favorites." It was a song by a-ha, one of my favorite groups. The song was "Take On Me," the break-out, sensational sync-pop song that made the band an international hit. My sibs and my nephs and nieces all know that song. But as I kept playing their other not-so-well-known-in-America songs, my family commented on how they didn't realize the band continued to make hit albums after another, beyond the attention they gave to them. I've followed them throughout their career, and after returning from the convent, I used the internet to catch up on what I had missed. The band celebrated 25 long years together and finally retired in 2010. I thought about that... a band that was so young and filled with promise back in the days of my high school years, was now in their 40's and calling it quits. Man, that's when it really hit me how old I am getting!
We went from talking about their first hit to their very very last song. I find it haunting and beautiful, touching on all my emotions I felt throughout this day:
The band uses the butterfly to symbolize their band's career... spawning from coccoons to flittering all over the earth until they seperate at the end... These particular lyrics strike me: "Overthinking every little thing, Acknowledge the bell you cant unring...These stained glass wings could only take you so far...Stay with it through thick or thin..."
My dad wasn't feeling so well, so I left the party early to tend to him. I walked out my sisters front door onto her deck...and watched the setting sun streaming over the landscape, almost begging the earth not to force it to sleep...its rays hitting me and the side of the house... the light reminding me of those childhood evenings when me and my sibs would play around our little house running outside or riding our bicycles all over the place...
My dad huffed and puffed his way to my car, I clamored to get into the driver's seat to get him home as quick as possible...
...My time is not done, this little butterfly has to stay with it through thick and thin...
